Ten weeks today!

I can't even believe I've already gotten through six weeks of being pregnant (since I found out when I was four weeks pregnant). It seems like a lifetime already. And I'm not even over the hump. I still have two weeks to go until I'm actually twelve weeks. But, I'll take ten weeks, and a heartbeat. We still haven't told our families, and I'm not quite sure I want to, to be honest. My husband the other day said, "why don't we just not tell my parents? See if they guess." I laughed, because I know his mom thinks she knows everything and the minute we tell her she'll say, "I knew it!"

Once again it is baby season. In my mommy and me class, two women are pregnant with their second ("only 20 months apart, but we wanted them close together...") and I remember that my second would have been only 20 months apart from my first. Erik's cousin in Norway also spread the news that his girlfriend is pregnant, and due the end of December. I think it's kind of funny that all these people are announcing their pregnancies, and when people ask me, I just say "we're still trying." Luckily, my stomach is easily hideable (that's not a word, I know) at this point.

Yesterday, I actually felt a little bit excited, that maybe this will actually work out. I still keep looking for the spotting, every time I go to the bathroom, but my confidence has been building a little bit lately.

Now, this time around, I'm not concerned so much that we have another Down Syndrome child. What scares me more is a child with autism, and you don't even know until months after they are born. What makes me nervous is that the diagnosis is now 1 out of 151 children in the state of California (I think the statistics are higher in some areas). That means, my chances of having an autistic child is just as great as having another Down Syndrome child. But, I suppose, I'm not one to buy into statistics anymore; especially, since I beat the odds. One out of every 800 children is born with Down Syndrome, and mine was the lucky one. Those are some pretty high odds.

I worry about the food I put in my mouth, the water I drink, the air I breathe when I take a walk. Is it better to stay inside and not be breathing in the LA smog? Or should I get some exercise? Is it better to drink water that has been sitting in plastic, or not drink water at all? I still have half a cup of coffee every morning, because I like it, and it's soothing to me. I'm sure some women are tsk tsk'ing me right now about that. Just wait until I'm four months pregnant and I have that glass of wine...some eyebrows will definitely be raised. I do laugh when I realize how cautious I was when I was pregnant with Owen. There is absolutely nothing I could have done to change his genetic makeup, the mold was set at conception. So every time I worried about little things, like the sushi I had, or the glass of wine, it was so not an issue. But, I suppose, there is sanity in being cautious with this pregnancy as well. After all, in seven more months I can have all the wine I want...and coffee, too.