Think Pink

The other day, when we met with Anna, this woman who is a doula that we were meeting for the first time, she kept saying 'she' for the baby. My husband asked her why she referred to it as a she. "I feel a feminine presence," Anna said. "Of course, it could be a feminine boy," and we all laughed. Then, Vilma, Owen's babysitter, who has six children (four girls and two boys), asked me if I had felt the baby move yet. I told her no, and that it bothered me a little bit, because I'm already nineteen weeks, and this is my second pregnancy. She said, "I think it's a girl. My boys, they move early, my girls, they don't move very much until later."

At our ultrasound yesterday (the big one), I decided I wanted to know, but Erik was still unsure, so I sent him out of the room. The technician said to us both, "you have a boy, right?" so Erik thought she was going to say it was a boy. He left the room and she told me it was a girl. I was in shock, so much so that I just couldn't think about anything for a moment or two except that God had finally answered one of my prayers. I am carrying a little girl! When Erik came back in the room, he said, I know it's a boy. I can feel it. Finally, he asked me what it was. I told him a girl, and he got teary-eyed. He squeezed my hand, and then kissed it. I think we both wanted a girl, but thought we would have another boy, which we weren't sure how that would go over with Owen. He loves girls, but is often bulllied by other boys. He's not a big, tough, boy and it makes me nervous about him surviving in the world, because we all know a bully or two.

I couldn't believe how happy I was that we were having a girl. We decided to keep it to ourselves for a while (and since nobody really reads this blog it doesn't matter that I print it here), but I felt myself lying to everyone around me. It seems as if now is the time everyone keeps asking what we are having, and maybe I'm not convincing enough. I just have to keep it from his mom long enough to get close to having the baby, or she will try to manipulate any way she can to choose the name for the baby and then use it with all the other kids around so they begin calling the baby by that name. I feel like I could tell everyone else but not her, but then if she found out that everybody else knew, she'd be pissed. Oh well, it's only five more months. Let's see if I can keep my mouth shut.

The measurements of the baby were perfect, all the organs, the heart, everything. The doctor said it not likely that a heart problem will develop at this point, except a small hole that will close up. He said the brain is what will continue to develop and has the biggest growth spurt coming up. I was so happy to hear him say that everything looked excellent. Excellent, what a great way to describe it. I think God is giving me a break on this child since I probably couldn't handle a lot of worry at this point.