Summer Drop Out

Okay, now that I've lost even the few readers that actually read this blog, I think I'll continue on. For some reason, summer interrupted, and I just needed to be free of any kind of commitments (except all those endless children's birthday parties). So here it is, September, and I have decided to revisit this blog.

I am now 17 weeks pregnant, and much calmer about the whole thing. We did the quad screening, and all the tests came back negative and my chances for Down Syndrome, Trisomy 18 (or 13, not sure which one tests in the second trimester), and spina bifada came back really low. Of course, I do know women who also had very good odds with their quad screening and ended up having a child with one of those. But, I am not focusing on the fears anymore. I am really enjoying this pregnancy and having fun with all the stages. It may be the last time I am pregnant, so I want to enjoy it. (Although, I did have a dream last night that I was pregnant again and I was over 40).

I am trying to be really positive with this pregnancy, but here's what has happened, again. Last time I was pregnant, seven of my friends or family were also pregnant and we were all due within a two-month time span. Everyone's child was fine but mine. This time, I have now found out about five other women (one family member and four friends) who are pregnant and due within a two-month time span. I am fighting the thoughts that everyone's baby will be fine, except mine. I'm hoping God has turned his attention away from me and will let this baby be a typical, run-of-the-mill child just like everyone else's.

To top it all off, some of the women are really keen on finding out what they are having, because they have a specific idea of what they want, and I know this sounds bad, but I kind of hope they don't get what they want. If they want a boy, I hope they get a girl. Is it bad to think that way? I guess because I would like to have a girl, but I know my husband's family breeds boys, and I have a feeling this will be a boy. Of course, at the end of the day, why wouldn't I want to have a white male, don't they have every advantage??

I hope everyone out there blogging had a good summer. I am so ready for this heat to be over, and to move on to our California winter.