Thursday, July 28, 2005

Still Keeping Quiet

My husband and I have now passed the 12-week mark, and still we haven't picked up the phone and started dialing our friends and family to tell them. I'm not sure why. I guess I still think there is a chance something could go wrong, and I've been there before, backtracking to tell everyone things didn't work out as we imagined.

Ever since I had the ultrasound, I've been having this funny pain in my lower left abdomen, that keeps coming and going. It's not a sharp pain, but it's there, and it lasts for a second or two, and a minute later it comes back. I have no idea what it is, and I am trying to keep myself calm about it. I called my doctor's office and told them, "I don't want to be one of those patients where everything is a big deal, but..." The receptionist assured me it's better if I come in than go into the weekend with something going on. I've been on the computer all day googling the symptoms, trying figure out what it is. I don't think it's my appendix, because that would be my right side, but did you know that it is not rare for women to develop appendicitis while they are pregnant?? That they find it more often in first and second trimester pregnancies, but a reduced rate in the third trimester? As if there wasn't enough to worry about...

I really do wish this pregnancy would just go on about it's business and not bother me anymore. It's as if the moment I start to relax, some other symptom comes knocking at my door. I guess that's why I'm afraid to tell anyone anything yet, but if my body continues to give me these signals, we're never going to tell anyone anything! I told my husband yesterday that now we have reached the 12-week mark I just want to hit the 20-week mark. It's all about rushing through it again, isn't it? I was hoping the 12-week mark would give me the okay to slow down, enjoy the pregnancy, feel good about myself and the baby.

And won't I feel like the biggest loser if these pains are just from plain old gas??


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