Friday, August 31, 2007

Fundraiser a success!

We had our fundraiser for Down Syndrome Research and Treatment Foundation ( on Tuesday, and it was a huge success! It was held at the Hollywood Bowl and we had about 125 people, including our celebrity host, Jane Leeves (Daphne, from "Frasier"). KCAL 9 news showed up and did a piece that ran on the 10 o'clock news. I was proud that we did exactly what we wanted: we did it just a little better, a little classier, this year. It was a beautiful setting at the Hollywood Bowl, and a place I would love to have another event at. But I think most people were too tired to go and listen to the music after the event, as I think several people left. We went up to see the music, but only stayed for a little while.

I think we are really making progress, and I think that this is going to be something huge when it gets rolling. Dr. Mobley believes that in about 5-6 years he will have a treatment for our kids that will raise their cognitive level by 10-20%, which would be incredible. (You can read more about it on their website: I think we pulled in a lot of money with the silent auction, the raffle and the dinner tickets. More importantly, I think that Dr. Mobley really feels that we could get Paul McCartney on board for next year. That would be huge star power for us!

Anyway, it took a lot of work and effort, and time, and now I feel adrift. I do have a party I am planning for work in October, but I feel as if this event gave me real energy: the kind that keeps you up working late at night, keeps you pressing on even though you are pregnant again, etc.

I am now 15 weeks pregnant, and for some reason, I don't really care whether I find out if it's a boy or a girl. I'm just satisified that the baby is growing and things seem good. Of course, I can't get an appointment with the perinatologist until 19 weeks...they refused to see me earlier because I refused all the tests. I'm 40, and chances are my tests will come back false positive, or maybe they will really be positive, but who cares? This way, I don't have to make a decision. We live with the child we have created. I couldn't be this way if I didn't know Erik. He is so calm, so reassuring, and so sure that we are meant to be parents to whatever child is sent our way. My doctor told me that so many people think they can control the outcome of their child by taking all these tests, but they can't. And I agree. I just hope things go well. But at least I have six more months to enjoy being pregnant and feeling a life inside of me. Nobody can take that away from me.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Trying Too Hard

Today, I decided to take Owen to this drum class that Remo Drum Center puts on every weekend. Some of the other moms from the Moms group take their kids, so I thought it might be nice to have a few of us with kids with Down syndrome. Of course, Owen hated it. I mean, absolutely wanted to go home. Kept hugging me, saying "I want to go home," and he was shaking, as if he couldn't handle it. I know he has sensory issues, and I know that big crowds and lots of noise make him very uncomfortable, but I really wanted him to like the class. I wanted it to be something fun we could do together. He did the same thing when I took him and Tess to church with me, he was shaking and holding on to me so tight that I could barely breathe. Sometimes I wonder if he has some other kind of disorder, like a phobia, and that's why he can't deal with crowds. I wonder if I was like that when I was little. But, I did grow up with 8 brothers and sisters and a lot of people always around, so I can't imagine that I was like that. It makes me sad, because I wonder if he will have to miss out on things when he gets older like going to the movies, or maybe a musical concert, or large parties. Will it prevent him from socializing to the best of his ability? The only thing I think might be okay is that my sister Marie was really shy and afraid of strangers when she was little, so maybe that's just a personality trait. My sister is not the best on applying herself in unfamiliar situations, but she has learned to adjust and enjoys her life. I don't know. I feel angry sometimes at him, for being this way. I saw 50 kids today beating on drums, dancing, running around, and I had to leave after 15 minutes (although, honestly, the drum beating in an enclosed space like that was a little deafening). Should I forget about trying new things with him and just let him find his way? I don't know. I hope that he will grow out of it, and learn to adjust. My fears, of course, tell me that won't happen.

Monday, August 06, 2007

I'm back!

It's August already, I'm so amazed at how fast time is flying. I'm really glad to see summer going so fast...I'm pregnant again (12 weeks on Friday!) and the heat is killing me, even though it hasn't been that hot. My body temperature is just a few degrees hotter, which makes all the difference.

So far, all seems to be well in this pregnancy. I'm sick during the day, and really tired, and my belly is getting rounder. I'm so happy I'm pregnant again, and I'm trying to enjoy this since it will be my last baby. Of course, no sooner did we find out we were pregnant that my youngest brother called to say his wife was pregnant with their third. "So I guess this baby will probably be the last grandchild," he said, which I thought was rather presumptious. I didn't tell him I was pregnant, because I hadn't been to the doctor at that point. So when I called him back a few days later and told him that he was right, their child probably would be the last grandchild, since ours was due a week earlier, I think he was really stunned. His wife is so competitive with me, I don't understand it. And they are so cocky about having kids. I really didn't need to know about how she told him it was "time," and in one shot she was pregnant. It took us about 9 months to get pregnant with Tess after a miscarriage, and then this time it took us about 8 months. Some people just don't get it.

Anyway, enough about them. I'm excited about having a third child. This baby will be sometime around Valentine's day. When I told Owen the other day that "Mommy was going to have another baby, is that okay?" He looked at me and said, "yea, Mommy." Then he reached up his arms and said "hug." It was so amazing. It was like he really knew. He's only done that a couple of times where he really knew I needed a hug, and asked for one. I think he is so intuitive.

He has been taking the bus to and from school. It has made him so much more independent. He really likes it. I was so worried about putting him on a bus alone with a male driver, but then I realized that they only have a certain amount of time and they have to be at school, so I was okay with it. It's a female driver who brings him home. But he likes it. He has grown up so much since last year. The teachers say he is doing great in school. I'm so proud of him.

And Tess. She just amazes me every day. Lately, Owen tries to take every toy from her and she says, "no, mine!" I think she learned that from Owen. He will say, "it's mine," and walk away with something. She's smart. She picks things up fast. She's been walking since she was 16 months, so she is getting the hang of it, but I think she's a lot like Owen: very cautious. Both of them are very leery of running too fast or stepping on things. Tess is talking a lot, too, and putting words together. It just seems so effortless on her part, whereas with Owen we struggled to watch him learn to communicate. And he does communicate, it's just his own language sometimes. He still has garbled words, but he is getting more and more clear.

I know that this new baby will be the right addition to our family, I only hope that God sends us another typical child. I love my child with Down syndrome, and if we had another one, he would always have a companion, but I hope God sees that handling one is enough for me.