Trying Too Hard

Today, I decided to take Owen to this drum class that Remo Drum Center puts on every weekend. Some of the other moms from the Moms group take their kids, so I thought it might be nice to have a few of us with kids with Down syndrome. Of course, Owen hated it. I mean, absolutely wanted to go home. Kept hugging me, saying "I want to go home," and he was shaking, as if he couldn't handle it. I know he has sensory issues, and I know that big crowds and lots of noise make him very uncomfortable, but I really wanted him to like the class. I wanted it to be something fun we could do together. He did the same thing when I took him and Tess to church with me, he was shaking and holding on to me so tight that I could barely breathe. Sometimes I wonder if he has some other kind of disorder, like a phobia, and that's why he can't deal with crowds. I wonder if I was like that when I was little. But, I did grow up with 8 brothers and sisters and a lot of people always around, so I can't imagine that I was like that. It makes me sad, because I wonder if he will have to miss out on things when he gets older like going to the movies, or maybe a musical concert, or large parties. Will it prevent him from socializing to the best of his ability? The only thing I think might be okay is that my sister Marie was really shy and afraid of strangers when she was little, so maybe that's just a personality trait. My sister is not the best on applying herself in unfamiliar situations, but she has learned to adjust and enjoys her life. I don't know. I feel angry sometimes at him, for being this way. I saw 50 kids today beating on drums, dancing, running around, and I had to leave after 15 minutes (although, honestly, the drum beating in an enclosed space like that was a little deafening). Should I forget about trying new things with him and just let him find his way? I don't know. I hope that he will grow out of it, and learn to adjust. My fears, of course, tell me that won't happen.