Saturday, August 11, 2007

Trying Too Hard

Today, I decided to take Owen to this drum class that Remo Drum Center puts on every weekend. Some of the other moms from the Moms group take their kids, so I thought it might be nice to have a few of us with kids with Down syndrome. Of course, Owen hated it. I mean, absolutely wanted to go home. Kept hugging me, saying "I want to go home," and he was shaking, as if he couldn't handle it. I know he has sensory issues, and I know that big crowds and lots of noise make him very uncomfortable, but I really wanted him to like the class. I wanted it to be something fun we could do together. He did the same thing when I took him and Tess to church with me, he was shaking and holding on to me so tight that I could barely breathe. Sometimes I wonder if he has some other kind of disorder, like a phobia, and that's why he can't deal with crowds. I wonder if I was like that when I was little. But, I did grow up with 8 brothers and sisters and a lot of people always around, so I can't imagine that I was like that. It makes me sad, because I wonder if he will have to miss out on things when he gets older like going to the movies, or maybe a musical concert, or large parties. Will it prevent him from socializing to the best of his ability? The only thing I think might be okay is that my sister Marie was really shy and afraid of strangers when she was little, so maybe that's just a personality trait. My sister is not the best on applying herself in unfamiliar situations, but she has learned to adjust and enjoys her life. I don't know. I feel angry sometimes at him, for being this way. I saw 50 kids today beating on drums, dancing, running around, and I had to leave after 15 minutes (although, honestly, the drum beating in an enclosed space like that was a little deafening). Should I forget about trying new things with him and just let him find his way? I don't know. I hope that he will grow out of it, and learn to adjust. My fears, of course, tell me that won't happen.


Blogger shellsbells said...

It may be something he will get used to. We have a 16 year old daughter who's been playing basketball since she could walk so we've been attending basketball games forever. A lot of those times, we've been in a gym where the crowd is deafening. When OE was younger, he would really cry when the crowd roared. We would put cotton in his ears to muffle some of the noise and it helped. Now he's used to being around loud noises. There are still some noises he says is too loud like airplanes or flushing toilets.

2:02 PM  

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