Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Failure to Blog

Today is Wednesday, of that I am sure. It is also September. Other than that, the month will finish and the year will finish and soon Tess will be a year old and I will be wondering what happened to the time.

Today, at work, we had a group in who was interested in some historical items. We also have a theatre, so we showed some 70mm films that we have, including one reel of "Ben Hur," that was restored. We also showed "A Year Along the Abandoned Road," a 70mm film, 15 minutes long, which was shot in time-lapse. It shows a summer town in Norway that is typically abandoned during the winter, because it is so far north and too cold. The whole film shows the passage of time in time-lapse, so the summer people are shown in fast motion. You see the heavy, snow-filled winter, then it passes into spring, then the summer people come, and then the winter comes again: barren, cold, lonely. Every time I see this film, I feel sad. Sad because it is about the passage of time and the inability to slow it down. It shows how nature continues to cycle in it's seasons, but we as people are secondary, because we are just a few moments in the overall picture. The summer people came and went, and their laughter echoed for only a moment or two before nature resumed it's pattern.

I wonder how long before I am looking at my grown children and wondering where the time went. I think of how I would like to be pregnant one more time, but am not sure that nature has not passed me by already. I will be 40 next May, and I am still breastfeeding Tess so I have not gotten my period again yet. And if I continue to feed her, I won't get it until I am absolutely done breastfeeding. And I love breastfeeding (yes, I am one of those women...). So therein lies the dilemma. I'm not getting any younger, but I also don't want to wean Tess just to try to get pregnant again quickly. What would I do if I got pregnant again right away, anyway? Wouldn't that be pushing the age difference a little bit? I would hate for Tess to get stuck being a middle child who got overlooked because we had another child right away.

So it goes. We leave for Michigan next week, and I'm so excited to see my family. I haven't seen them since last August, when I was four months pregnant. I've seen a couple of my brothers and sisters, but not all of them (I have 5 brothers and 3 sisters, and numerous nieces and nephews). We are having Tess christened when we go home, by our family priest. We did the same for Owen two years ago and it was a beautiful ceremony. We held it at my sister's house, where we will have it again. I'm a little (no a lot) nervous about flying, though. I haven't flown in over a year, and I'm pretty much a white-knuckle flyer now. I can't help it, there is too much going on in the world for me not to be scared. But at least I will be with my family, and I will get to be with my sisters, who I have missed so much!

By the way, Tess got her first (and second) tooth! Both bottom teeth came in at the same time, and she didn't have any problems. She had no fever, no rash, and wasn't fussy. Although, she is trying to bite me a little bit. Owen got his first tooth at 10 months, and it wasn't the bottom front tooth, it was off to the side. I suppose the Down Syndrome kicked in, because they say their teeth are always late and irregular, although Owen has pretty nice teeth, for his first set.

Have a great week everyone, signing off...


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