Food for Thought

I read another person's blog today, who commented on their approaching 38th birthday, and their sadness at not having fulfilled goals yet. I can so relate to that. I turn 39 next month, and I still feel as if there are so many things undone, so many people unmet, so many words unwritten. I always thought that I would be a published writer by the time I was 30, and then I thought maybe by the time I was 40, and now, I don't know what my next "due by" date is. I know that I didn't think I would have two wonderful kids who would interrupt my career, and am grateful for the hours I can spend with them, just hanging out watching them grow and learn.

I too feel as if my goals haven't been met, but my goals have also changed. All my life, especially when I was younger, I always thought that I would do something really important someday, like write a book that would change people's lives. The other day, I finally realized that I have done something important: I chose to have my child with Down Syndrome. I didn't cave to society's views of testing for everything, and I allowed my child to be born without judgment, or without having failed a test before he was even born.

Lately, I've been thinking that maybe my life isn't about publishing a book, but maybe it's about connecting with other parents who have children with Down Syndrome. Maybe I am doing my most important work right now, but I haven't looked at it that way. Maybe we are all busy living the lives we were meant to live, and that's okay.