Owen in Class

Today was Friday, and I took Owen to his drop off transition-to-preschool class. It wasn't his usual class, because he is taking swimming lessons (with the Swim Nazi), and couldn't make the early class on Tuesday so I brought him today. It was a bigger class, but a lot of the same kids that he was in Mommy and Me with. When I came back to pick him up, I was early, so I watched them for a while. It was so cute, and I was so proud of Owen. He played outside with all the other kids, chasing one girl, Charlotte, to the slide, then watching her come down and following her around again, then turned around and joined some other kids who were playing with toys in a sandbox. I noticed much more of a camaderie among the kids, now, different from when it was Mommy and Me. I'm not sure if they have just all grown up, or if it is different for them without all the moms around. Then they all sat on the bench and they did the ABCs, and got snacks. I saw Owen take his snacks like all the other kids, and eat them, as happy as pie. I wished I had a camera, just to show other people how normal it all was, and how much he belonged.

I ran into a couple of moms I hadn't seen since Owen was about one. Amazing how so many of them were at least 40 with their first child, saying it would probably be their only one, and now they have all had a second, even before me. It makes me feel older than I am, wondering how I got into this weird world where people in their 4os are having typical kids, and I was 35 and had a child with Down Syndrome.

Today was Friday, and I usually have a babysitter but she told me she had an appointment. So I arranged my day differently, and took Tess with me to get my hair cut. Later, around 5, I went for a walk around our neighborhood, and sure enough, I see her walking another little boy who she also babysits. I couldn't believe it, so I went over to her and said, "You're working for her today?" She kind of mumbled and said that she came after her appointment and is working later for her (we use her only from 9-5 because it costs money to have her stay late and we have to watch our budget). I know this other mom has full-time help and doesn't work, and has two kids. But come on, she has to take my babysitter, too? It made me so mad, mainly because I felt betrayed by my babysitter. I feel like I can't trust her anymore, like next time she says she has an appointment, I'm going to be left in the dust, and I have to go back to work next week, I can't afford to stay home on the days I need to be there. The funny thing is that the woman she was sitting for used to be a friend of mine, and it's more that I don't trust her to try to pay more money to use my babysitter. I don't know, it's so weird. The thing is that I think the babysitter really loves Owen, or at least I used to think that until today. Today I just felt sad, because I don't trust her anymore. I suppose it won't last forever, though, eventually Owen will be going to school and we won't need a babysitter. And, as Erik said, we need to look at the big picture: we need her now, but when Erik is done with the new house, he may be staying home again with both kids, so we won't need her.