Saturday, December 10, 2005

Insomnia Has Set In

I thought I was doing pretty well with my sleeping patterns, until this morning. It's 4:30 a.m. and I can't sleep. There simply seems no point in my tossing and turning for another two hours, so I figured I would get up and get some writing done. I don't remember this insomnia with Owen, and recently, several moms have asked me if I have hit the insomnia stage. I didn't think I would, but it seems as if this baby wakes me up and keeps me up, always from about 4-6. I know it's supposed to be practice for when she gets here, but really, I think it would be much more appropriate if we were allowed to be completely rested by the time the baby gets here and then we deal with the sleeplessness. Oh well. I suppose there is nothing I can do about it. I actually think the insomnia has more to do with the fact that I feel like I have things that need to get done before I have this baby; things I have been putting off because, oh, I suppose I didn't really think this was going to happen months ago when I got pregnant. Strange how the mind works, isn't it? I have a friend pregnant with her first, and she started telling everybody she was pregnant when she was only 6 weeks along. She is now almost twenty weeks, but I often wonder, what would she have done if she had a miscarriage? But I guess I was the same way when I was pregnant with Owen. I just assumed it would work out, I didn't question it, and then I told everybody in my family when I was only 6 weeks pregnant. I suppose it's only when you do have something go wrong that you become very, very cautious.

I can't believe it's December already, and that the year is almost over. I never imagined, back in May when I found out I was pregnant, that I would be sitting here, 8 months pregnant, hoping for time to slow down so I can enjoy these last few weeks of pregnancy. I may never get to experience this again; this may be it, so I want to cherish every symptom, every kick, every smile from people who see my swollen belly. On the other hand, I feel like I'm so behind in everything; that there is still so much to do. I don't want to stress about it, but of course, there are three events at work I am in the middle of planning (which of course all happen to fall in mid-to-late January) and then there are the things at home: Christmas shopping, decorating, my own writing, packing my bag (yes, that would be helpful), Owen's transition meetings, and all things that pertain to Owen. We have our first transitional meeting in January with the Los Angeles school district, and of course, the earliest they could schedule us was late January. I suppose we could always reschedule if I am in the hospital, because for some reason, I feel like I am going to have a January baby. I don't know why, and it could be January 31, but I still feel like she's coming in January, not February. My actual due date is February, so she has a good chance of being a January baby.

That's all for now. I think I'll work on my book, since I feel as if I have neglected working on it.


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