Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Why So Stubborn?

I don't get it. When God was making our children, what was He thinking when He decided that they should have the stubborn trait? What was that all about?

Today, I picked Owen up from school, and the teachers went on, again, about how stubborn he is. And it's not just my child, every child with Down syndrome seems to have this stubborn streak. It's as if that extra chromosome gave them some extra stubborn juice, or something. I know exactly what his teachers meant, too. Even though he is very capable of doing something, he won't. He refuses, and he looks away, as is by avoiding looking you in the eye, he can get away with it. I hate it. I wish that God had thought a little harder about our kids when he did that. I mean, really, they will have a tough enough time as it is in school, so they have to be stubborn on top of it??

Then I thought about it for a while. And I thought, you know, our kids are just more real than other kids, more honest. They won't follow the rules and do what they are supposed to do because they don't work from a place where they realize they must abide by society's rules. So they refuse to cooperate if they don't want to do it. Is that so wrong? Why am I trying to fit my child into the universally excepted idea of what a child at 3 should be doing? But I suppose at the end of the day, I do want my child to fit in and to succeed. I want him to be able to be liked by other kids, and by the people in his life. I mean, we love him to death because he is our child, but when he is being stubborn and refusing to abide by certain rules that our society dictates, how will other people view him?

I suppose I should be more like my husband and not care what people think, but I know that it does matter. Maybe Owen and Tess will be lucky enough to have inherited Erik's amazing sense of self-esteem, and it won't matter to them, either.

33 Comments:

Blogger shellsbells said...

This is so funny you decided to talk about Owen being stubborn.

Our Owen has been going through the same thing and I hope it gets better. He also will not look us in the eye when we are trying to get him to do something he doesn't feel like doing. It does get frustrating! We recently bought him a shirt that says: Patience Tester! LOL

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Miss E has already learned the avoidance tactics of sealing her eyes closed, plugging her ears with her hands, and looking away.

It is all about avoiding work.

I never thought the reasoning behind it, although I do know none of my other children engaged in this determined stubborness to conserve energy.

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Anonymous Christina said...

I found your blog via Pinwheel, I have a 7 month old little Prince VInce with DS. He was 3 days old when the doctors told us they though he had DS.

Hahaha, if it is the extra chromosome that brings the stubborness, I am sure to have DS too :-) If our boy is extra stubborn, I feel sorry for him. Me and my man are both extremely stubborn...

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