Attack of the Yeast Infection

So, Tess, still has this thrush, and it hasn't gone away, even though I gave her the medicine for two weeks, boiled all her pacifiers, and tried not to let Owen give her anything that wasn't washed. I don't understand why it is so hard to get rid of! Today I just felt so bad about it, that I am actually considering giving up breastfeeding. I mean, where is it coming from, her or me? I have done as much research as I can, and nothing says for sure whether I am giving it to her, or she's giving it to me. They all say that it is an imbalance within the system, and I can't think of anything I am doing differently. The only thing it could possibly be with her is that I started feeding her a whole grain cereal, rather than continuing with rice cereal, and maybe she's allergic to wheat? Would that make sense?

Then, underneath her chin, she has this awful skin rash that looks so painful. I know that Owen got it as well, but not as badly as her, and it just occurred to me that maybe that rash is also a yeast infection?? Is that possible? I don't know what to do about that, since she gets bathed all the time, and I have been putting zinc on it, and now vaseline, and nothing seems to be helping. And, of course, I haven't heard back from my pediatrician, which seems par for the course.

I felt like crying today over it all, this huge wave of defeat made me want to just sit down on sob. I couldn't seem to make anything work, and on top of that, I still feel sluggish, like I don't really have any motivation. Could it be PMS? Or am I just not happy because this weather is so gross, and I haven't been able to go for walks like I usually do. That is really killing me.

I want it to be winter again, our cool, California winter where the fog drifts in and jackets are necessary. I never thought I would long for the day when I could put on a turtleneck sweater again....