Monday, May 22, 2006

I feel out of control right now, as our lives swing into overdrive. I just feel as if life as we know it is going to change. At least Owen's life will. As of the end of June, we are cut off of the services offered by the regional center. Sitting in speech today with Owen, as he laughed so hard with Jana while she coaxed the words he knew out of him, I suddenly realized how fleeting this all is. In just about a month, we say goodbye to Jana, his speech therapist, Lisa, his occupational therapist and Patty, his child development specialist who has been with him since he was about 8 months old. It made me a little sad, knowing that we are entering the next phase of his life. I had gotten so used to our routine: on Monday he had speech and OT, Tuesday was school, Wednesday was child development and speech, Thursday was our free day and Friday was when I went to work and he spent the day with his babysitter, who he loves (he follows her around when she sweeps or vacuums, and then will run up to her and laughing, hug her). But now, our lives will change. Erik and I will look at schools on Wednesday, and determine what the best program is for him. This afternoon, I got a call from the team who evaluated him, and now they want to see him at his transition class, indepedently. I mean, I won't be there, and they will just observe. I feel like this is more of a test than I am ready for. Why are they doing that? Didn't they have enough time with him when we brought him to them? Is it because they don't believe us when we say he does well with other typical kids? Are they going to use a bad day in school against us to say he can't function around typical kids?

Of course, my husband always sees it differently (bless him!). He said, "Maybe they see how special he is, and how much potential he has, and they are going the extra mile to make sure they find the right place for him." Of course, if it wasn't the Los Angeles Unified School District, I might buy that. But I know that they are so overwhelmed with kids in their progams that they don't have time to go the 'extra mile.' But maybe I'm wrong. The only thing that makes me nervous is that Owen has been having this separation anxiety lately, and he had a really bad day when I took him to school. So I am making Erik take him, just so he does okay. I think there is a lot going on, and that is what is happening. Not only that, he knows when I am upset about something, and he takes it personally. When I was nervous about this whole evaluation thing, and about transferring to school, he internalized it. I know he did. See, Erik is the parent who is much calmer. Let's just say that when I get anxious about things, I go to Erik because he will always calm me down.

Other than that, Tess will be four months old this week! Yikes...and I have already had to pack away her size 0-3 clothes. Talk about entering a new phase...

I want another baby already just to keep the march of time from invading my life.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, another baby, that would make for a very busy house.

I have read a few blogs lately talking about this transition, and I am wondering where I we will be at in a year when Miss E faces a similar transition from early childhood intervention to preschool. It sort of makes me sad because I see what so many people I know through blogging are going through and I wish that the process was easier-and that the best interest of the child was always of the greatest importance.

Sorry you are in a district you are not that comfortable with-I hope all works out for the best.

5:56 AM  
Anonymous trisomymommy said...

I want another one too, which would be a crazy thing to do right now.
I wish you all the best with this transition. I really hope they find an arrangement that you feel comfortable with.

6:34 AM  
Anonymous Annabelle said...

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Zanne, happy birthday to you!
It sounds like the people observing Owen are making sure they are making the best decision for him. Believe it or not, our children really do act differently around us. Always testing us yet allways trying to please us. My Regan transitions every other weekend when she comes and goes from her Dad's. Some weeke are better than others.
Hey, keep those baby cloths - you might need them again!! I love you lots!!!!

9:55 AM  
Blogger Shelley said...

Another baby - wouldn't it be great? You have my sympathy - starting the 'next' phase will be a challenge. I hope that whatever happens will be the best for Owen and that before too long he feels just as comfortable as he does now with early intervention and transition. I hope he wows them all! Good luck

7:06 PM  

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