Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Busy, Busy, Busy

It seems as if life has been so incredibly busy these days, with work, and therapies, and weekend events. I feel as if I can barely catch my breath. My hands have broken out again (I have eczema, and it gets worse when I am stressed) and I have to figure out what the source of the stress is. I think I am stressed out about all this IEP stuff that is about to happen. Owen has his evaluation by the school district next week on Monday, and I am not sure if he will shut down, or perform beautifully. In some ways, it would be good if he doesn't perform that well so he will get more services, but you hate to watch your child underperform, too. I want the best for him, but I feel as if there is nothing that will be as good as I think it should be. I know that I am afraid of the whole idea of change, and as soon as he turns three, our lives as we know it now will change. The carefully orchestrated days with certain therapists will now all be lumped into school four or five days a week. I will actually have to let my son go, and deal with the next step of growing up (hmm, what a concept).

I took him for some cranial sacral therapy yesterday with the therapist who worked on him when he was a baby, and I learned a lot. This is the first time she has seen him since he was just crawling, and he is such a little man now. I think she was really impressed with him. But because he is a child, and doesn't want to be worked on, she had to take her hands off him and work in his energy field (I know, it sounds really corny). At one point, she told me that I needed to watch what I think about because Owen can sense my fears. At that point, he got up and walked away and put some distance from us. Jennifer asked me what I was so afraid of. I told her about the whole school thing and she told me that I need to understand that Owen is very intuitive and picks up on that. Of course, now I know why he had such a hard time at school yesterday. In fact, the teacher said she almost called me because he was upset on and off all morning. I think he does sense my fears and he reacts to them. Jennifer told me that Owen is here to teach me things, and possibly he is here to teach me how to let go of my fears, let go of things that I cannot control. I think she may be right.

So last night, after his afternoon of cranial work, he went to bed. He woke up once to go the toilet (way to go, my little man!), and then he fell right back asleep and slept the rest of the night. If that's what we got out of his therapy, then I am happy. It was the first good night's sleep I have had in a while. And, of course, my little lady just slept through the night and woke up at 7 a.m. with a smile on her face.


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2:08 PM  

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