Owen is Three

Today is Owen's actual birthday, and I did look up at the clock at about 7:15 p.m. tonight and realized that three years ago I was in surgery, having Owen. I am amazed that three years have gone by; three wonderful, amazing, fun, surprising years. Years I wouldn't trade for anything. I was thinking today as I was driving Owen home from speech about women who terminate their DS pregnancies, and what would my life be like if I had somehow chosen that path. I also was thinking about how when we first found out Owen had Down Syndrome, my first thought was that maybe it would be better if he had died, then his life wouldn't be ruined. But that was when he was only a few days old, and of course, it was before I knew what I know now.

Now, I realize that I would have missed out on so many incredible moments, and such a tremendous amount of growth within myself. I could not, would not, want to imagine my life without my little boy. And I just can't imagine him as anything but himself. He is so charming, and funny, and sweet, and even when he gets upset, I just feel such an outpouring of love for him. In some ways, I think that my feelings for him run deeper than they ever have for another human being, including my husband. I mean, I love my husband, but there is something about loving a child who has Down Syndrome. Even Tess (who is so sweet and wonderful) I know that she is going to be okay, and won't need me as much as I feel Owen does sometimes. There really is a vulnerability to Owen, something that I don't see in other kids. He is so receptive to what is going on in the universe, that I think he internalizes a lot more than we know.

I just feel as if Owen is part angel, and that he was sent here to teach so many of us a lesson we never anticipated. But, having said that, I hope God sees that it will take us a very, very, very long time to learn these lessons, so He better not be thinking that Owen needs to return any time soon.