Trying to Keep It Together

Okay, so we got through our IEP, and of course, I thought that it would be okay not to go into the office on Friday afternoon (usually I work on Friday), since it was already too late to make that trek and I figured I could make up the hours the following week. Isn't it funny how you just get your personal life settled and your work life blows up in your face?

I have not been able to check my e-mail for work from home, and my boss knows that (or so I thought), and when I had asked for a blackberry so that I was able to get important e-mails he said they didn't have an extra account for me at this time. Okay, fine, I work my 20 hours and am available by cell phone. Unfortunately, there was a writer who asked about using a particular quote from my boss in a story, and for some reason, my mind was telling me it wasn't that urgent. I did communicate the quote to my boss and he sent me an e-mail with a new quote, but it came to my work e-mail after I had left on Wednesday, and since I wasn't back in the office until Tuesday of the following week, I completely missed getting the information. Sure enough, on Tuesday, his quote was staring me in the face, in print, centerspread. I knew I was screwed. I sent him an e-mail alerting him about it, and he sent me an e-mail that took me to task for not doing my job. I know I screwed up, but really, how much can I keep juggling in my mind and on my plate without something falling through the cracks?! I know, I know, I get paid to do that job, so that should be my priority, but lately, Owen's IEP has been my priority because it determines the next part of his life!

I guess that's no excuse, but you can't tell me that anybody at that company doesn't put their family first at some point or another. My God, I haven't even taken any vacation, and I came back early from maternity leave to work on things that needed to be done!

So now, I have been really pretty depressed being at work, because I know that this mistake will haunt me for the rest of my career there. The plain ugly truth is that I am a woman, working in a man's world, and we are not easily forgiven (by the very virtue that we don't have balls). Maybe I'm just not cut out to be doing what I am doing anymore. Maybe I have been slipping because nobody cares about PR. Maybe my son's education happened to be much more important to me that week than making sure a quote was confirmed or replaced. Maybe I'm in the wrong business, after all.