Saturday, June 17, 2006

Clingy Boy

Yesterday, when I started to get ready for work, Owen would not stop hugging my leg, making it virtually impossible for me to move anywhere. It was just like any other day that I go to work, but for some reason he did not want me to leave. If I tried to go to another room, he would start to cry, as if I had left already. I took him downstairs with me while I checked e-mail, and his lower lip started to tremble when I tried to explain to him that I have to go to work so I can pay the bills. Then he hugged me so hard, it was like he wanted to climb inside of me. I so didn't want to leave. It broke my heart to finally have to go and leave him screaming and crying for me. He never used to do this (well, actually, he did a couple of times when he was about 1-1/2 years old. I didn't know that this would happen again. I thought he was growing up, but maybe he's feeling our stress, and maybe, just maybe, the whole "new baby in my house" is finally kicking in. I mean, I can't help that I have to feel her constantly when I'm home, but I'm sure he feels slighted, and feels like she has taken his place. Plus, he's begun to do some things that make me so mad, like throwing his sippy cup, and throwing food, refusing to eat, not going to the toilet, and other things. I know that part of it is his just being a two-almost-three-year old, but I don't know how to fix it. And, I just don't know what is appropriate discipline for a child who you think knows what they are doing, but cognitively, do they understand discipline? A couple of times I have slapped his hand, and he thought it was funny, and then slapped his own hand. I don't know what to do with that. Then I tried a time out in the corner, and he thought that was so fun, trying to get out of the corner, and knowing that he had my attention. But, I don't want him to think he can continue to act like a baby when he needs to grow up and get ready for school. I can't have him throwing things at school just because he doesn't like them.

Lately, I've really become fixated on getting Owen to act more like an kid and less like a baby. I've been trying to have him eat with a spoon and fork, but of course, it's still very difficult for him. Partly that may be because we haven't insisted that he use a fork and spoon until recently. With the spoon, I usually have to get his vitamins in him and can't afford to have him spill it all over, and other than that, I was just happy he was self-feeding by picking up his food. But I'm sure when he's six it won't be so cute that he picks all his food up with his fingers. I finally threw out all his bottles, and now he is just using sippy cups. I thought that would be a much bigger hurdle, but it hasn't been. We had been transitioning him, albeit a little slower than most kids, but now they are gone, and it is only the pacifier he uses (although that is strictly at night when he goes so sleep, so I don't see that as a big deal. Besides, he has sensory issues so he needs to chew or suck on something). I hav also been trying to get him to pull down his pants, or pull up his underwear. I recently saw a couple of two-year-old girls, Owen's age, who were changing outfits over and over. I was so amazed that they could take off all their clothes, and put on new outfits. And I know that girls just like to do that, but I feel as if Owen is so far behind because we have been doing everything for him. How do you know when to stop and make him do it himself?? It just seems like when we have to go somewhere, if I don't do his outfit, he will stay in his pjs all day. Am I that parent that I never said I would be? Am I one of those parents who can't bear to let their child grow up so they do everything for them?? What is the cutoff age?? God, it gets so hard as they get older. Why can't they just stay Tess' age: soft, cuddly, sleepy, hungry, and so easy...

I finally gave Tess cereal, although if I had my druthers I would just continue to breastfeed her for a year without any changes. But I suppose babies must turn into children, too, and she needs to learn to eat food. She tolerated pretty well, but I've only given it to her twice. I feel as if it's so much easier just to breastfeed her, and now with food, suddenly you have start working it around breakfast, lunch and dinner. I just finally got Owen on a schedule of eating, and now I have to add her?! Ah, the joys of motherhood (which, as you all know, I am not complaining...)


Blogger Naomi said...

The discipline stuff is tough. You really do have to think about developmental rather than physical age. As far as possible we try to redirect with Callum, but if he gets in one of his defiant moods then he goes into his crib for "quiet time". We tried a time out spot but it was just too much of a game for him and "quiet time" means that we all get a breather to just calm down.

It gets so frustrating though when you see what other kids are doing. All you can do is to keep on encouraging self help skills and one day they will get it and you'll get such a rush because you'll know how hard it was to get there.

Enjoy them both being little.

3:07 PM  

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